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Vulnerability and joy

How possibly can vulnerability and joy be connected?

Brene Brown, eminent researcher into quite a few human conditions, says vulnerability in its most pure form is ‘show up and let yourself be seen.’ However, in our society vulnerability is all tied up with our emotions around being vulnerable that we perhaps don’t want to show, and definitely don’t want to feel.

Vulnerability is a funny old thing, it apparently shows strength to others rather than weakness. That it is more empowerment than exposure. What it definitely is for sure is honesty. It is living the truth even though the fear factor is really high. This for me is where joy and vulnerability are connected. Joy is not fear, joy is the opposite of fear. Joy is not only being open, but acceptance of oneself as well as the others that are sharing in the vulnerability. Joy is living in flow, it’s a deep calm, a knowing that the vulnerability is an essential part of letting go and moving forward.

There is a moment within vulnerability when joy is there… a sort of “my god this is hard but I am doing this, I am actually doing this!” when the resistance falls away, you are in full flow and it is what

it is. There is a rawness, newness, exposure, all of these things which will feel strange, because let’s be honest who develops the habit of actually, actively being vulnerable?

A measure of how vulnerable you have been, is what is termed as the ‘vulnerability hangover’, the anxiety, the, could I have done better? Could I have said things in a better way? Or why the hell did I say all that? And that almost irresistible urge to run hide and never show your face again. Apparently the more hungover you feel is a measure of how much courage you have shown in your vulnerability.

Take joy in your vulnerability, knowing that it has taken great courage to let go of the fear, enjoy the hangover knowing that this is the sign that you have been most vulnerable.

Dr Rachel is a neuro-psychologist specialising in trauma recovery and wellbeing in those with chronic or neurological conditions. She is available for consultations at the NTA Clinic in Hampshire and also via Skype / Facetime / Phone. More info at: www.ntahealth/dr-rachel/

Copyright Dr Rachel Taylor 2019

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